Tale No 5 "the Leading Dealer & the 202 (and the 194)

A Receptacle for all the amazing and yet true stories of the Pompous Gay Club Visiting, cancer Suffer Killer who founded the "Ring" by Blackmail !
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Tale No 5 "the Leading Dealer & the 202 (and the 194)

Post by Gmemg » Thu Feb 22, 2018 10:04 pm

This is another tale told to me by "Suicidal" Steve TMF Admin and it concerns a not well known Gramophone collector (Because he's Nocturnal ? - Ed)

"One day a not well known, rather reclusive, gramophone collector looked out of the back bedroom of his house unusually during daylight hours and espied an HMV 202 in the local saleroom (this machine came with a very long and frankly boring "history" *) he bought it for very little (reputedly around £200 and then in a very general and circumspect way asked about the value of such a machine on the then forum the Oldvictrolajukeboxforummessageboardthing alas the Leading dealer was alerted and having TRACED the posts and the machine thus bombarded the not well known collector with messages only becoming somewhat reclusive himself when a large figure was mentioned (was he trying to flog the machine to his "usual Millionaire Korean clients ? - ED) the Not well known and reclusive collector was sick of all the hassle from "the Leading Dealer" so when he had a few messages from "Suicidal" Steve TMF Admin and having been told he could buy the machine if he paid the FULL PRICE quickly then negotiated the maze of lanes near the not well known collector's home and nabbed the machine in return for hot reddies !

The Leading dealer was NOT amused and true to form he bombarded the not well known but reclusive and nocturnal collector with MORE messages for some time to come !

Then we come to the somewhat earlier tale of the 194 (in some anecdotes told by Elegant Vintage car drivers) a 203 but actually those concerned say it was a 194

One day a couple of genial gay dealer chaps were "trolling" along at a large antiques fair and espied an HMV 194 - they bought it and delightedly bowled along the happy highway back to their home with it - alas the evil empire of the leading dealer heard they had bought such a machine and yet again they were bombarded with messages of an increasingly abusive kind especially after he heard that they Genial gay chaps had sold said machine ! so what did the "leading dealer " Do ? he mobilised his forces and planted a letter to the Antiques Trade Gazette alas on Headed Notepaper (and was published as was his letter about Round robins to "Private eye" to MUCH merriment ) the letter was along the lines of :

"Yis Yis Yis, isn't it terrible all these dealers rushing up & down the motorways to these big Antiques fair making a FORTUNE and do they pay any Tax ????????? Do they pay any TAX ?????????? the Taxman should investigate immediately !!!!!!

alas the "gentlemen" of the Art trade, who if they couldn't actually read the letter themselves could get another to read it to them took a VERY Dim view of anyone trying to get the Tax man interested in the Big Antiques Fairs and all the cash that changed hands at them and came looking for the "leading Dealer" and according to the crapophone makers one very large such chap with a broken nose and cauliflower ears came up to them asking :

"Are you ******* ***** ?"

and so being forewarned the leading dealer kept a very low profile at the Big fairs for some time after and visitors to his business were often greeted by closed blinds and a note in the window suggesting the "leading Dealer" was "out of the country" for his health !

* Steve went into a typically boring, pedantic and anally retentive anecdotal history of the machine - This machine apparently belonged to a Violin player who bought it new with his wife , he then had an affair and was caught , the couple separated and the Wife was left in a small cottage with this giant machine - in her latter years she was plagued with offers from the "trade" for it and even whilst the cottage became more dilapidated she refused all offers , she died and Auctioneers cleared the property but left the 202 as unsaleable so it was sold with the cottage to a builder who amazingly left it outside the front of the house where a passing dealer bought it for very little and entered it into the auction (Yawn) and got £200 for his trouble !
Estott : "An Ancient Half - Mad Uncle "

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Corruption in the CLPGS :
The Seven Social Sins are:
Wealth without work. Pleasure without conscience. Knowledge without character .Commerce without morality. Science without humanity. Worship without sacrifice. Politics without principle.

Money. Greed. Naivety. Falsehoods. Exploitation. Welcome to the wonderful world of gramophones!

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